what the heck is a "liminal space"??
and how do I get out of it?!
the girls (read: me), have been crying, okay!
i don’t mean to brag, but I’ve been averaging about 1-2 crying sessions a day, which basically makes me the Lebron James of the National Bawling Association.
okay, but in all seriousness, these few weeks have been weird, to say the least. there are some plans, decisions, and transitions that I’m actively working to make real in my life, and it’s come with its set of ✨emotions✨.
i’m currently experiencing what is known as a liminal space. this refers to “the place a person is in during a transitional period. it’s a gap, and can be physical (like a doorway), emotional (like a divorce) or metaphorical (like a decision).”
other examples of emotional liminal spaces can look like:
moving to or planning a move to a new city
losing a job
a long-term situationship ending
a romantic or friendship breakup
a drastic career change
losing a spark of creative interest
it’s like life’s waiting room, where you know it’s time for a change, but that change hasn’t quite happened/manifested yet. it’s that in-between time. the middle ground. the “waiting season.”
in all these months of processing, being off of social media, journaling until the pages caught fire, and (again) crying, I had no idea that there was actual language to what I was experiencing.
i just assumed it was some sort of mid-mid-life crisis, but after listening to an episode of The Soft Life by Saddie Baddies Podcast, I finally understood what I was trying to express all this time.
and come to find out, I’ve even been tweeting about it for months and didn’t even know it:
oh, and this too:
i guess God’s been speaking this whole time.
in my processing, I realized that a huge part of my discomfort while in this liminal space is that I’m ready to move.
since 2021, I’ve been back home in my small, country town, and while I had the capacity to rest in this time and be as productive as I could be, I’ve now reached a point where I gotta go my own way *in my Vanessa Hudgens voice*.
there’s only so much a small town like mine can offer you when you know you're destined for bigger… for more.
that doesn’t make small towns inherently bad—they birth a lot of amazing people—it just means that not everyone is wired to thrive and/or plant roots there.
i’d be lying if I didn’t admit that moving back down South from LA has taught me a lot about slowing down.
being here is lowkey an act of meditation: it’s quiet, not a lot of hustle & bustle, and requires you to practice stillness.
but I’m a girl who likes to be on the move.
i love having places to go, people to meet, events to attend, fine men to date, and the option to do something different every day.
but in many ways, being home has kind of changed that part of me and put so much of that on pause.
i haven’t felt like “me” or aligned with who I truly am and what I’m called to do.
even my esteem as a content creator has taken a hit because I feel like I’m not quite able to create the content I want to or have an eye for. and yes, I am creating in spite of that — but it’s been hard.
last year, I was talking to this guy who would make comments like, “you don’t have anywhere to be this weekend?” or “you’re not going out?” and I’d just be like no.
the design and ecosystem of my area didn’t operate the same as his did (being in the *literal* nation’s capital), so he just didn’t get it.
as I reflect on that, it’s like, the homebody, no-plans-on-the-weekend-Aley that he met isn’t the person I normally am, it’s just the environment I’m in.
but I’m ready for more.
i’m ready to create the life of dreams in the city of my dreams.
i’m ready for stability and security.
i’m ready for change.
so if you’re in that in-between, liminal space too, I’ll leave you with this note:
one of the characters on this show I was watching recently said, “there are people who stay and people who go.”
if this newsletter resonated with you, that might someone who goes. so if you feel stuck in this space, please believe in your ability to change your situation, because God didn’t put that desire in your heart for it to go to waste.
before I let you go: i made a playlist for you :) this is for my people who want to create & concentrate — let me know how you like it!
p.s.s. if you made it this far, can you let me know you enjoyed this post by commenting or sharing the newsletter? it helps a lot!
〰 ya girl, Aley!
This was JUST what I needed. I’ve been in this same space for awhile and in the beginning I felt pretty bad, but I began to appreciate being in this space. What’s the point of being sad of having this in between moment of figuring things out concerning your future of just wanting more?! In this “liminal space” it has been a challenge to produce content because I simply don’t know.. if that makes sense! Lol! It’s even down to the point where I’m finding out that I’m doing things that I actually don’t want to do far as in my entrepreneurial journey and etc. This space is so new and unfamiliar but it seems to be needed as well. Hopefully I made sense but thank you for this. 💙
This was soooo needed i related to every. single. word. I’m actually fighting the possibility of me having to go back home and i think that’s effecting me but also being secluded in my own apt by myself is running it’s side effects course too so the feeling of being in this liminal space is HEAVY to say the least. THANK YOU THANK YOU! Now i know it’s not just me everybody has a moment like this 🏾