what the heck is a "liminal space"??

and how do I get out of it?!

the girls (read: me), have been crying, okay!

i don’t mean to brag, but I’ve been averaging about 1-2 crying sessions a day, which basically makes me the Lebron James of the National Bawling Association.

okay, but in all seriousness, these few weeks have been weird, to say the least. there are some plans, decisions, and transitions that I’m actively working to make real in my life, and it’s come with its set of ✨emotions✨. 

i’m currently experiencing what is known as a liminal space. this refers to “the place a person is in during a transitional period. it’s a gap, and can be physical (like a doorway), emotional (like a divorce) or metaphorical (like a decision).” 

other examples of emotional liminal spaces can look like:

• moving to or planning a move to a new city

• losing a job

• getting engaged/married

• a long-term situationship ending

• a romantic or friendship breakup

• a drastic career change

• losing a spark of creative interest

• rejection

• ✨adultinggggg✨

it’s like life’s waiting room, where you know it’s time for a change, but that change hasn’t quite happened/manifested yet. it’s that in-between time. the middle ground. the “waiting season.” 

in all these months of processing, being off of social media, journaling until the pages caught fire, and (again) crying, I had no idea that there was actual language to what I was experiencing.

i just assumed it was some sort of mid-mid-life crisis, but after listening to an episode of The Soft Life by Saddie Baddies Podcast, I finally understood what I was trying to express all this time. 

and come to find out, I’ve even been tweeting about it for months and didn’t even know it: 

like here: 

thee aley arion. @yagirlaley

〰️ take advantage of the “in between.” take charge of the utter seclusion. be strategic during the winter when daylight is limited. you’re building up to something, don’t take it for granted. ✨

…and here: 

thee aley arion. @yagirlaley

dear discouraged creative: 📌 you may feel overlooked, but the right people are taking note of your work. silence doesn’t mean you’re going unseen, it’s just the in-between point before time & opportunity meet. you’re doing great work — stay consistent, believe in your voice.

oh, and this too: 

thee aley arion. @yagirlaley

but there’s something that activates the heart of God when we refocus our attention on all we have while we wait for what we’ve prayed for to arrive. gratitude is the anchor for the “in between.” choose to see the blessing in this moment; at this level.

i guess God’s been speaking this whole time. 

in my processing, I realized that a huge part of my discomfort while in this liminal space is that I’m ready to move. 

since 2021, I’ve been back home in my small, country town, and while I had the capacity to rest in this time and be as productive as I could be, I’ve now reached a point where I gotta go my own way *in my Vanessa Hudgens voice*.

there’s only so much a small town like mine can offer you when you know you're destined for bigger… for more.

that doesn’t make small towns inherently bad—they birth a lot of amazing people—it just means that not everyone is wired to thrive and/or plant roots there. 

i’d be lying if I didn’t admit that moving back down South from LA has taught me a lot about slowing down.

being here is lowkey an act of meditation: it’s quiet, not a lot of hustle & bustle, and requires you to practice stillness.

but I’m a girl who likes to be on the move. 

i love having places to go, people to meet, events to attend, fine men to date, and the option to do something different every day.

but in many ways, being home has kind of changed that part of me and put so much of that on pause.

i haven’t felt like “me” or aligned with who I truly am and what I’m called to do. 

even my esteem as a content creator has taken a hit because I feel like I’m not quite able to create the content I want to or have an eye for. and yes, I am creating in spite of that — but it’s been hard.

last year, I was talking to this guy who would make comments like, “you don’t have anywhere to be this weekend?” or “you’re not going out?” and I’d just be like no.

the design and ecosystem of my area didn’t operate the same as his did (being in the *literal* nation’s capital), so he just didn’t get it. 

as I reflect on that, it’s like, the homebody, no-plans-on-the-weekend-Aley that he met isn’t the person I normally am, it’s just the environment I’m in. 

but I’m ready for more. 

i’m ready to create the life of dreams in the city of my dreams. 

i’m ready for stability and security.

i’m ready for change. 

so if you’re in that in-between, liminal space too, I’ll leave you with this note: 

one of the characters on this show I was watching recently said, “there are people who stay and people who go.”

if this newsletter resonated with you, that might someone who goes. so if you feel stuck in this space, please believe in your ability to change your situation, because God didn’t put that desire in your heart for it to go to waste. 

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before I let you go: i made a playlist for you :) this is for my people who want to create & concentrate — let me know how you like it! 

p.s.s. if you made it this far, can you let me know you enjoyed this post by commenting or sharing the newsletter? it helps a lot! 

be well, 

〰 ya girl, Aley!