i've been hiding my age from the internet...

on being a 30-something who's no longer hiding...

i’m starting my new year now. 

apart from tradition, I typically start my New Year on my birthday, March 10. it’s on the brink of spring and marks a rebirth not only in the seasons but for my own calendar year.

but with September marking my half birthday and the ending of a few chapters (which I’ll be discussing in a future newsletter), I’ve decided to take my life back in my hands and press the restart button now. 

for months, I’ve been feeling deeply disconnected from my social media, specifically my Substack and IG, because I haven’t had the mental capacity to really give it my all. but I’m currently at a crossroads where I have no choice but to put everything into what’s left standing: my content creation journey and wellness collective, Black Girl Playground.

FOR CONTEXT: 

if you didn’t know: i’m 31 years old. 

yes, the BIG 3-1 — and to be honest, it feels sooo good to finally say that out loud. 

when i turned 27 during the pandemic, I decided to keep my age off the internet and live life sans the pressure of meeting age-related milestones or labels that are connected to being in your late 20s. 

if you haven’t noticed, the internet is getting younger. and at times, being a 30-something on social media can feel like we’re all just hiding in the shadows, afraid that our age will spill out in mid-conversation or in comment sections. and that once people (read: strangers) know your age, they can then ostracize you from the digital culture your generation built. 

aside from millennial-coded slander (LOL) sharing your age brings on unsolicited questions/concerns ranging from — but not limited to: 

are you married? 

do you want kids? 

why are you still single? 

are you planning on starting a family? 

are you broken??

time is running out! what do you even want to do with the rest of your life, girl!? HURRY!

it’s like this invisible timer on our youth is ticking away as if life isn’t only just starting. 

WHY I HAVE TO BE 31, OUT LOUD: 

the person that I am today, everything that I’ve learned, and all the wisdom that’s been stored up inside of me, are all an accumulation of the years that have landed me here. i’m the woman I am today because I’m 31 and to hide her, to scrub away the years, and to conceal all evidence of my age is an act of erasure that I will no longer take part in. 

@yagirlaley#decodingthirty: why are our 30s so ambiguous? 🫠 it feels like all the good life advice stops in your 20s when there’s so many changes & expectations attached to this new decade that we need guidance on. i’ll be the first to admit that I’ve concealed my age from the internet since I was 27 because I felt like if I hadn’t reached certain goals and milestones by “a certain age,” it wasn’t worth sharing. but I am who I am because I’m 31 — all the things I’ve learned, all the wisdom I’ve gained is all an acclimation of being a 30-something year old. but i’d be doing myself & and those who are dealing with this very same life transition a disservice to not talk about it together. so welcome to my new series, Decoding Thirty, where we figure out this defining decade… together! #fypシ゚viral #30somethings #lifeadvice

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i always thought that my glow-up, my “Forbes 30” moment would happen in my 20s. but I’m now convinced that my next and best act will be in my 30s. not because I missed my moment or didn’t have “it,” but because I’m ready now. i’m not scared anymore.

and God has a funny way of removing all the things from your life that will keep you in a cycle of fear and hesitation until all you have left is the decision to take a leap of faith, surrender, and bet on yourself. 

i am becoming risk absorbent. instead of avoiding risk, I now can only see a life where I leave everything on the floor and burn down the old life based on fear, to rebuild and restore it in a whole new way. 

DECODING THIRTY: 

which leads us here…

in case you missed it, I started a new series on my IG/TikTok called, Decoding Thirty. 

together we’ll explore the challenges, lessons, and experiences of exiting your late 20s and entering your 30s. I started this series because I was tired of all the ambiguity surrounding this defining decade. plus, it feels like all the good advice stops when you leave your 20s, leaving us 30-something with unanswered questions on this new chapter. 

yagirlaley

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ultimately, feel like 30-somethings need to come out of hiding. we gotta exchange notes with those in out age cohort, and leave behind the tidbits we’ve gained for those 20-somethings who will be joining us in the 30s club. 

so whether you’re still in your mid/late 20s or early 30s, i’m inviting you to join in figuring out this defining decade together. 

and as always, let me know your thoughts on this topic and what you’d like me to unpack during the series in the comments 🌟

— ya girl, Aley 

follow me:

my IG is: @yagirlaley

join my social wellness club, Black Girl Playground: @blackgirlplayground

i’m more fun on tiktok: @yagirlaley