there’s a concept that’s been racking my brain for the last couple of weeks and it came as the result of an encounter with…. (you guessed it) a TikTok video.
in the video, a young Black woman who works in the media industry shared the concept of how it can be “expensive to dream.”
from her experience, this pertained to having the financial support of her parents to take on the low-paying and (sometimes) unpaid opportunities which eventually allowed her to be set on her current career trajectory.
in the transparent clip, she detailed that in the early years of her career the financial backing of her parents offered her the opportunity to put her head down and grind without having to worry about keeping a roof over her head or food in her mouth, and other basic needs, while she went after her dreams — and this struck me.
i’m so glad that for once, someone was honest about the undercurrents of success and that it’s not always grinding ourselves into the pavement or just “working hard” that gets us to the next level — sometimes it's financial support, a stroke of luck, and dare I say, nepotism, that can play a factor too.
back in my junior year of college, I decided that I wanted to pursue a career in journalism/media, but knew that it was too late to shift my major from marketing to mass communication.
so instead, I got creative and began to add courses to my schedule that helped me gain knowledge about the industry and hopefully, land an internship in the industry.
i became one of those students who spent hours of my alone time applying to hundreds of internships and reaching out to editors and contacts in the industry when “picking someone’s brain” wasn’t yet considered a nuance.
i didn’t complain, i didn’t make excuses, i just used every resource I had to make the next best step for my budding career.
there were moments early on where I felt like these efforts were fruitless; (I mean besides the fact that I can write a well-formulated email), it all felt like very little return on my invested time.
but despite those rejection letters and unanswered cover letters, I still created a successful blog, still wrote freelance in my spare time, and still utilized social media to build my brand.
once I finally got my shot to move to NYC in 2016, I managed to get a solid year and a half out of living there before I could no longer afford to.
sometimes, I reflect on my return back home as a hindrance to my progress because although I still wrote and created projects (thru my depression & living in a small town), I still can’t help but think about how much further I could have been along if I had the chance to stay in New York longer with the proper support.
consistency and discipline alone are beautiful muscles to exercise and build along your journey, but it’s unfair (in my eyes) to say that’s all someone needs to succeed.
even through someone’s consistency, they still need a win.
they still need to see and feel their work be rewarded or else it all just feels like a waste of time. not to mention that it’s easy to be consistent when your basic needs are being met and you can devote all of your time and attention to steadying the foundation of your next chapter if your current foundation is already solid.
as a society, I think we’ve gotten misled by certain antidotes like “just stay the course” and “just be consistent” when it does not apply to everyone’s situation or background.
which begs the question:
can you out-grind means and privilege?
is the concept of having to “work twice as hard” to get half of what you want out of life inescapable?
does it take longer to reap the fruits of your labor compared to someone who’s gotten the lead simply because of what they were born into (race, gender, class, or otherwise)?
sure, I wish I had my parents' financial support or came from a particular socioeconomic background that could afford me the luxury to dream without limitations, but I can’t change what I was born into.
i’ve gotten this far in my career because of my work ethic and determination, despite not having the leg up.
it’s made me into a hustler.
it’s given me ingenuity.
it’s made me understand the balance between grinding and resting because I deserve double.
it’s made me into the creative being I am today.
and for those reasons, I’m proud of myself.
i know that all of what I’ve been through is to someday inspire someone to know that they can live their dreams even if their background made them seem unachievable.
there’s absolutely nothing wrong with coming from means; i’m just saying that the grind is different when you don’t.
i’m working as hard as I am today hard so my future children don’t have to go through what I’ve overcome. so if you’re anything like me, a reformed hood-booger with ambition, just know that I see you.
i know it feels like God is taking us the long, scenic route, but you’ve got the vision & you gon’ get everything you deserve.
BEFORE YOU GO: leave a comment + let me know your thoughts on the subject.
also, here’s what I’ve been up to on the gram [in the case that we’ve been disconnected by the algorithm 💐
Hi ! This was everything I needed to read, when you said “ I know it feels like God is taking us the long, scenic route, but you’ve got the vision & you gon’ get everything you deserve.” I felt this on another level! Yesterday I had one of those moments where I wanted to give up on my dreams, because I feel like I have been on this journey for a very long time, and a part of me is already expecting the life that I have trapped in my head since I was a little girl. But in reality I just like JUST graduated college May 2021. Why am I in such a rush ?? So I am learning that I need to FLY (First Love Myself) and create the habits that my future self will thank me for later. I do wish I was in my dream career as a beauty & wellness, editor, attending events, writing, and traveling. I went to school for advertising and marketing communications and I have been working on my visual portfolio more than my written portfolio. So I do feel like I have to start from scratch but I have faith that this is all a part of the plan and I wouldn’t get this idea of pivoting my career if it wasn’t meant for me. The stars are aligning for all of us I can see it and believe it!
Thank you for sharing this message it was everything I needed today !
Let’s connect @Alaysiajoi on ig
I can definitely attest to this! Sometimes the road seems long and you feel like you’re getting nowhere having to put more time in to making ends meet instead of into your craft. Consistency can be hard, but I know the path I’m on still ends in greatness. I’m trusting the Lord all the way! Counting every stride and even the small wins 🫶🏽